Tuesday, 15 May 2012

and, you are?


I'm no longer as sure if I’m as enthused about being a mother anymore, I thought I’d go straight in for the jugular but it’s true. 



I'm just no longer so “sure” and for a long time I've looked into my future and I can’t completely envision a wedding day. OK, fine I'm more on the “yes I want to have kids and a husband” side of the fence, than the other. I won’t rule it out completely; because I would love to see the twists and turns my gene pool will take. I would love to pass on what little knowledge I have to a new soul and it would be such a blessing to be able to carry a child because many cannot.
I’m aware that I may feel this way because I’m not in love, so my feelings are subject to change. Or I could feel this way because life threw me a curveball, so I’ve reconsidered a few plans. Either way, I’ve started to look a bit deeper into what my outward purpose upon the earth is?

I’m realising that it is perfectly normal as a young woman to come to certain crossroads regarding social conformities because let’s be real here, not all of us know how to cook and clean. Not all of us know how to dress cute, do our makeup nicely and do our hair up in fancy styles. All of the things that society says we should learn in our youth so we can keep a happy home in our later life. Society fails to realise that some of us simply don’t care whilst some of us were never taught. What if you dug deep down inside, then realised that you don’t actually want to be a mother or a wife but because it has been fed to you all your life, you’ve just become complacent and have accepted the idea. What if you began to really pursue your dream and you find that your “want” for a family begins to dwindle?
My quandary is must we all eventually sum our lives up to becoming a professional juggler; balancing family and work? Are those our only options?
There must be a broader horizon for women, right? We have definitely been blessed with the skill of multitasking, there must be so many more tasks and combinations that we can juggle instead.
What about juggling a new launch within your company and building your first home?
What about juggling how to save up for a new car whilst saving up for worldly travels?
What is so wrong about a woman solely but happily pursuing her dreams, with no kids, no husband?

Eventually all of those questions led me to think of Mother Theresa, a woman who didn’t birth her own children and never married. However, she was a mother to many; her spirit, her persona and her purpose was higher than carrying a child. Her purpose was higher than a wedding day, a white dress and strolling down an aisle. She had a purpose outside of just being a woman, she was a human being. Instead of raising her own children, she raised millions of other people’s children and I will take a wild guess and assume that she would have felt like she was fulfilling her purpose.

To give some more food for thought, I can recall someone asking the most earth shattering question, I’ve ever had to face in my life.

 “Ladies, how does it feel to know that you may never marry?”

:O

 I was shocked and I began to worry because I was instantaneously shot with the cold hard truth. I then had to question myself “what if I’m unable to have kids, what if I never actually marry?”
In reality there are millions of women who have lived a life where they have never married or had any kids. Yes, you can still have many relationships, you may even be with one guy until the day you die but you may never marry or have kids.
 It isn’t entirely rare and neither is it impossible and as foreign as that thought may be, you have to ask yourself “what if?”

Think of successful “seemingly” happy women who have had successful careers and are not married (but still date), who are childless and are past the age of 30.
 I can think of a few (I quickly googled a random list aha)

In conclusion, I’m not trying program an army of single and barren feminist’s haha. We all enjoy the thought of being a wife and mother some day and we all have a right to hold onto the endless possibilities.
But perhaps for a moment put aside what society says is acceptable of you as a woman and instead take on the thoughts of what you feel is your purpose as a human being.  I just simply want to provoke your minds and create new sinews of thought.
So I ask you, as an individual human being, what is your purpose?


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