I'm no longer as sure if I’m as enthused about being a mother
anymore, I thought I’d go straight in for the jugular but it’s true.
I'm just
no longer so “sure” and for a long time I've looked into my future and I can’t
completely envision a wedding day. OK, fine I'm more on the “yes I want to have
kids and a husband” side of the fence, than the other. I won’t rule it out
completely; because I would love to see the twists and turns my gene pool will
take. I would love to pass on what little knowledge I have to a new soul and it
would be such a blessing to be able to carry a child because many cannot.
I’m aware that I may feel this way because I’m not in love,
so my feelings are subject to change. Or I could feel this way because life
threw me a curveball, so I’ve reconsidered a few plans. Either way, I’ve
started to look a bit deeper into what my outward purpose upon the earth is?
I’m realising that it is perfectly normal as a young woman
to come to certain crossroads regarding social conformities because let’s be
real here, not all of us know how to cook and clean. Not all of us know how to
dress cute, do our makeup nicely and do our hair up in fancy styles. All of the
things that society says we should learn in our youth so we can keep a happy
home in our later life. Society fails to realise that some of us simply don’t
care whilst some of us were never taught. What if you dug deep down inside,
then realised that you don’t actually want to be a mother or a wife but because
it has been fed to you all your life, you’ve just become complacent and have
accepted the idea. What if you began to really pursue your dream and you find
that your “want” for a family begins to dwindle?
My quandary is must we all eventually sum our lives up to becoming
a professional juggler; balancing family and work? Are those our only options?
There must be a broader horizon for women, right? We have definitely
been blessed with the skill of multitasking, there must be so many more tasks
and combinations that we can juggle instead.
What about juggling a new launch within your company and
building your first home?
What about juggling how to save up for a new car whilst saving
up for worldly travels?
What is so wrong about a woman solely but happily pursuing her
dreams, with no kids, no husband?
Eventually all of those questions led me to think of Mother
Theresa, a woman who didn’t birth her own children and never married. However,
she was a mother to many; her spirit, her persona and her purpose was higher
than carrying a child. Her purpose was higher than a wedding day, a white dress
and strolling down an aisle. She had a purpose outside of just being a woman, she
was a human being. Instead of raising her own children, she raised millions of
other people’s children and I will take a wild guess and assume that she would have
felt like she was fulfilling her purpose.
To give some more food for thought, I can recall someone asking
the most earth shattering question, I’ve ever had to face in my life.
“Ladies, how does it
feel to know that you may never marry?”
:O
I was shocked and I began
to worry because I was instantaneously shot with the cold hard truth. I then
had to question myself “what if I’m unable to have kids, what if I never
actually marry?”
In reality there are millions of women who have lived a life
where they have never married or had any kids. Yes, you can still have many
relationships, you may even be with one guy until the day you die but you may
never marry or have kids.
It isn’t entirely rare
and neither is it impossible and as foreign as that thought may be, you have to
ask yourself “what if?”
Think of successful “seemingly” happy women who have had
successful careers and are not married (but still date), who are childless and
are past the age of 30.
I can think of a few
(I quickly googled a random list aha)
In conclusion, I’m not trying program an army of single and barren
feminist’s haha. We all enjoy the thought of being a wife and mother some day
and we all have a right to hold onto the endless possibilities.
But perhaps for a moment put aside what society says is
acceptable of you as a woman and instead take on the thoughts of what you feel
is your purpose as a human being. I just
simply want to provoke your minds and create new sinews of thought.
So I ask you, as an individual human being, what is your
purpose?
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