I wanted to write something that was pure, I didn’t want it
to be contrived or rushed just to please the demand. I want what I write to
come from a genuine place, a place of experience. I want my words to flow
directly from my heart. Today's post is about insecurity.
We've experienced being insecure, whether we were once insecure,
will become insecure or are insecure at this present moment. I was insecure
about my weight for a long time. When I was younger I had messed up teeth and I was awkward. The
funny thing about all that I’ve just said is that I would still apply some of
those same things to myself nowadays, however I no longer see them as a negative.
I've learnt to live with what God gave me but it still can be hard not to compare yourself to others. Insecurity is something that can only be blamed on our culture, were shown that how we look or even how we act determines how worthy we are. I realised that were a society of MORE.
I once read somewhere that those that are insecure are often people who are very aware of themselves. This means that when you are aware of whom you are, you create some form of scoreboard and you score yourself accordingly to whatever situation you are placed in. For example, there’s a job opening, they want a manager to manage their company. You automatically dismiss this opportunity because you score yourself unworthy.
When we're insecure we are scared of “the fall”, we believe that prevention is better than cure. An example of this “He doesn’t love me, he didn’t call when he said he would, he’s cheating” we automatically try and prevent the “unknown”, it's like a scared animal who is unsure of their surroundings. The reality of this example is that some of us think this way. I’ll throw my hand up and say I have thought this way, I hate to admit that, because I have a bit of pride but I want other young girls like me to be able to understand that “you're not alone”.
Insecurity can stem from a lot of things and personally I don’t think it matters when you became insecure, there is always a chance to reconcile with yourself and to renovate that dreary scoreboard of yours. Now the first step is to “love yourself”, I used to resent people saying that to me because I didn’t know how to, I was like do I stand in front of the mirror and say “hey you, I love you” but after a while I started to get it.
It’s as simple as, treating yourself! Go out and buy yourself some new body cream that has your favourite smell and moisturise with it every day, or a new pair of heels or some new panties in your favourite colour. Or if you’re strapped for cash make a YouTube playlist of all your favourite songs back to back and listen to them while you get ready in the morning. Do your nails regularly, plan out your outfit every morning, put thought into it, put the effort into yourself?
Make sure you eat your favourite foods everyday (within reason). Do you get what I’m getting at? Be selfish, not selfish as in neglecting to share with others but focus on yourself for a while, so be SELF-ISH. Think of it as you having a crush, you will do anything to be near them, anything to make them laugh etc. Why shouldn’t you put in those same efforts for yourself?
Give yourself compliments, congratulate yourself on arriving on time etc.
Think of it as you have a favourite song, no one can tell that that song isn’t good. In fact you even question their sanity as to why they may not see it as good, because quite frankly it’s the best song in the world.
That is basically how you should view yourself. Bring life to your positive attributes. We all have our faults at the end of the day but they coincide with our beauty. Another thing before I wrap this up.
If ever you find yourself becoming jealous of someone else, try to consider what they may be going through in their life, you never know someone’s story, just like someone right now at this point in time is jealous of you. They’re being hard on themselves because of something you have, sounds silly right?
I bet you're thinking, “jealous of me?”, yeh exactly.
Always consider that when you find that you’re comparing yourself as less than someone else.
So to conclude as young women we have to live up to quite a lot, especially in this society but before you try to live up to anyone. Just remember you have to live up to yourself first, be happy with yourself first and to be quite honest when you’re happy with yourself,just like your favourite song, no one can’t tell you anything.
I've learnt to live with what God gave me but it still can be hard not to compare yourself to others. Insecurity is something that can only be blamed on our culture, were shown that how we look or even how we act determines how worthy we are. I realised that were a society of MORE.
I once read somewhere that those that are insecure are often people who are very aware of themselves. This means that when you are aware of whom you are, you create some form of scoreboard and you score yourself accordingly to whatever situation you are placed in. For example, there’s a job opening, they want a manager to manage their company. You automatically dismiss this opportunity because you score yourself unworthy.
When we're insecure we are scared of “the fall”, we believe that prevention is better than cure. An example of this “He doesn’t love me, he didn’t call when he said he would, he’s cheating” we automatically try and prevent the “unknown”, it's like a scared animal who is unsure of their surroundings. The reality of this example is that some of us think this way. I’ll throw my hand up and say I have thought this way, I hate to admit that, because I have a bit of pride but I want other young girls like me to be able to understand that “you're not alone”.
Insecurity can stem from a lot of things and personally I don’t think it matters when you became insecure, there is always a chance to reconcile with yourself and to renovate that dreary scoreboard of yours. Now the first step is to “love yourself”, I used to resent people saying that to me because I didn’t know how to, I was like do I stand in front of the mirror and say “hey you, I love you” but after a while I started to get it.
It’s as simple as, treating yourself! Go out and buy yourself some new body cream that has your favourite smell and moisturise with it every day, or a new pair of heels or some new panties in your favourite colour. Or if you’re strapped for cash make a YouTube playlist of all your favourite songs back to back and listen to them while you get ready in the morning. Do your nails regularly, plan out your outfit every morning, put thought into it, put the effort into yourself?
Make sure you eat your favourite foods everyday (within reason). Do you get what I’m getting at? Be selfish, not selfish as in neglecting to share with others but focus on yourself for a while, so be SELF-ISH. Think of it as you having a crush, you will do anything to be near them, anything to make them laugh etc. Why shouldn’t you put in those same efforts for yourself?
Give yourself compliments, congratulate yourself on arriving on time etc.
Think of it as you have a favourite song, no one can tell that that song isn’t good. In fact you even question their sanity as to why they may not see it as good, because quite frankly it’s the best song in the world.
That is basically how you should view yourself. Bring life to your positive attributes. We all have our faults at the end of the day but they coincide with our beauty. Another thing before I wrap this up.
If ever you find yourself becoming jealous of someone else, try to consider what they may be going through in their life, you never know someone’s story, just like someone right now at this point in time is jealous of you. They’re being hard on themselves because of something you have, sounds silly right?
I bet you're thinking, “jealous of me?”, yeh exactly.
Always consider that when you find that you’re comparing yourself as less than someone else.
So to conclude as young women we have to live up to quite a lot, especially in this society but before you try to live up to anyone. Just remember you have to live up to yourself first, be happy with yourself first and to be quite honest when you’re happy with yourself,just like your favourite song, no one can’t tell you anything.
P.s I’m taking my own advice on this one.
