Get your blankets and cups of tea because this is a LONG one.
In this post I’m going to talk about Celibacy/abstinence. So over the last few weeks I’ve decided I’m going to be celibate until I meet someone that’s worth it, I decided to make this decision based off of the fact that I don’t want my emotions to be wasted anymore.
In this post I’m going to talk about Celibacy/abstinence. So over the last few weeks I’ve decided I’m going to be celibate until I meet someone that’s worth it, I decided to make this decision based off of the fact that I don’t want my emotions to be wasted anymore.
It’s a big decision and as I wrote those words,
it kind of hit me with what I may be letting myself in for. However on the flip side;
my decision is not based upon what I may be letting myself in for, it’s based
upon what I may be saving myself from.
Thankfully I’m not the type to date this guy and that, one after the other, so it’s not the biggest plight for me but for someone who’s already experienced having a sex life, it won’t be easy. So while I’m typing this to you I’m going to be mulling over the benefits of being celibate, I’m only going to be touching on the benefits because I want to promote it and rightly so.
No, I am not in any way forging a decision for you but as a young lady to the next I at least owe it to you to send out something positive, without compromise. It’s like selling the ideals of a healthy diet and then giving fatty foods as alternatives, either you’re committed or you are not. Now the points I’ll be making will be within the context of dating, otherwise refer to ”chronicles of a single flower”, this also doesn’t count toward those in a relationship, but it’s still food for thought. Ok so let me begin;
Thankfully I’m not the type to date this guy and that, one after the other, so it’s not the biggest plight for me but for someone who’s already experienced having a sex life, it won’t be easy. So while I’m typing this to you I’m going to be mulling over the benefits of being celibate, I’m only going to be touching on the benefits because I want to promote it and rightly so.
No, I am not in any way forging a decision for you but as a young lady to the next I at least owe it to you to send out something positive, without compromise. It’s like selling the ideals of a healthy diet and then giving fatty foods as alternatives, either you’re committed or you are not. Now the points I’ll be making will be within the context of dating, otherwise refer to ”chronicles of a single flower”, this also doesn’t count toward those in a relationship, but it’s still food for thought. Ok so let me begin;
When you are
dating someone, they will want to spend time with you because they enjoy you
and not the sexual favours you provide. It’s as simple as that. Now some guy’s
will stick around for a while, but usually the weeds show up soon enough, it’s
a sure fire way of seeing red flags before you venture too deep. This is not
including a really good guy who just can’t hold his urges and loves you but
he’s just not ready for that. That is completely fair enough, we can remain
friends. Instead this is aimed toward the
immature ones who don’t yet know what a meaningful relationship is, these are
the type that get love and lust confused, they aren’t worth it. Trust me you
will save yourself from a lot of BS, maybe when they grow up you can bother.
You will be saving
yourself from impeding heartbreak. Now let me break that one down before I
lose you. Heartbreak is inevitable; no one is exempt from heartbreak not even a
virgin. However sex is like that one last key to your heart, you can love
someone without sexual contact but sex is like that last little full stop when
signing a contract. Sex just makes things more definite and final, so
when things don’t work out there’s that extra sting; you know what I’m talking
about, that extra “damn!” So if I ever find myself in that situation I’d prefer
to be able to say “he was a (insert insult here) and THANK GOD, I didn’t sleep
with him!!” Doesn’t that sound so empowering?
There’s that
beautiful moment when you announce to a guy that you and he will not be having
sex during your relationship and he actually says that he is okay with that.
(He’s really burning up inside and considering a year’s supply of Vaseline) (now
as I’m typing this, even I’m thinking “really!?
Guys like that still exist!?”) but I guess I would never have known because I’d
never suggested it, some guys may not
mind but they also don’t mind if you let them sample the goods either. Maybe if
you step back and took the reins you’d find you had a guy who was willing to wait
for you all along. Plus the fact that he’s
okay with being celibate with you is one sign that he is worth it, not
necessarily “the one” but he’s worth a part of your heart. Now do not test the
poor red-blooded male’s patience, he has needs. However my
timeframe will be “until I know that he’s here for the long run”, so probably a
year. To some of you “freaks” that’s a heck of a long time and even I’m
even burning inside thinking about it but I don’t care. Plus if he/you cannot last as long as you need
him to, refer to benefit No. 1.
I have no intentions of being a Single mother,
simple. Now don’t get me wrong some
women are put in this position after a divorce or even after a long
relationship that didn’t work out. Now on the other end of the stick, you do
not even have to know a guys last name in order to become pregnant by him, it’s
all simple biology and a slow jam away. Then for 18 years you’re attached to
someone that when you really think about it, you probably don’t even completely
remember the night you conceived your child together. Now like I said before,
circumstances may come about to where you may become a single parent, so in no
way am I knocking anybody but while you’re young and you have ALL the choice in
the world, prevention is better than cure! I’m very sure that many a girl and
women alike, who are single mothers, will tell you to ‘keep those legs closed
and your head high’, until you meet the right guy. Now you’re thinking “yeah
but I’m on the pill we’ll use condoms” cool that’s using initiative and practising
safe sex, I honestly commend you for that but once he is inside of you, whatever
happens from that moment on is a game of Russian roulette.
So in conclusion people can still hurt you, we can still
drift apart after we’ve saved ourselves for each other but whilst abstaining, you’ve essentially saved yourself from wasting your time with a lot of dead
ends also. You would’ve weeded out a lot of jerks that weren’t necessarily
about “one thing” but they weren’t about YOU either. Now obviously there will
be other reasons why relationships fall apart but like I said before;
prevention is better than cure. A man’s God
given right is NOT your body, it is a privilege after working hard to earn and
keep your heart. We have to win each other’s hearts before anything else and if
you can’t put in the work to earn my heart, I'm not the one for you and vice versa.
I think my point is that I’d rather have a series of BF’s, whom I know that at some point or another were with me because they had a genuine and core interest in ME. So even if things fail, at the least I have that to hold onto. I like the idea of knowing that we tried because we wanted it to work not because we confused love with lust. No matter what my future may hold, I can at least look back at my love life and see all the meaningful friendships I’d had.
I think my point is that I’d rather have a series of BF’s, whom I know that at some point or another were with me because they had a genuine and core interest in ME. So even if things fail, at the least I have that to hold onto. I like the idea of knowing that we tried because we wanted it to work not because we confused love with lust. No matter what my future may hold, I can at least look back at my love life and see all the meaningful friendships I’d had.
