So I've decided to begin a Dating Diary. I actually have a
real diary, where I write my truest feelings about guys in. However this diary
is more of a “lesson learned” kind of log blog entry.
I guess I’ll jump straight
into it and start with the well-known “he didn't call” scenario. I guess it doesn't matter who you are, this can happen to anyone at any time (when dating).
#Scenario No1 - I once went on a date with a guy, well I’m
not sure if it was a date because we never officially said it but he expressed
that he liked me and I was just too shy to admit it to him. Anyway long story
short we went on a sweet day out to an art gallery together, it was so cute, we
talked, laughed, semi-flirted and he said he would call me once he got home. After
all of that I “thought” we would’ve advanced into something more substantial
but he never called.....
Initially it boggled my mind because the chemistry seemed perfect;
he was even more forward than me, “was it something I said!? OMG I was too shy...,
maybe I read his body language wrong blah blah blah”
All of that ran through my mind after about a week of not hearing anything from him.I spoke to a friend and she gave me some sound piece of advice “don’t expect anything; it will save you from disappointment”. Now that is usually an obstacle for myself because I don’t give up on people and if someone is going to walk away, I’d at least like an explanation.
However here’s the harsh reality; ready? Not everyone is going to like you. Actually people may just change their minds at a drop of a hat. It may have been something you said, they probably don’t find you attractive anymore, or maybe they decided they don’t want anything serious with anyone at that time. I could go on and on about all the many different reasons as to why they never called back, it is all quite heavy to take in and it is most definitely something we don’t want to hear, especially if he’s cute but it is the truth at its finest.
Now, obviously if they say “I’ll call you at 6” and when 6 comes and goes, you get all in a huff. Then, yes you kind of need to chill and read this when weeks have gone by because he may have just been busy.
All of that ran through my mind after about a week of not hearing anything from him.I spoke to a friend and she gave me some sound piece of advice “don’t expect anything; it will save you from disappointment”. Now that is usually an obstacle for myself because I don’t give up on people and if someone is going to walk away, I’d at least like an explanation.
However here’s the harsh reality; ready? Not everyone is going to like you. Actually people may just change their minds at a drop of a hat. It may have been something you said, they probably don’t find you attractive anymore, or maybe they decided they don’t want anything serious with anyone at that time. I could go on and on about all the many different reasons as to why they never called back, it is all quite heavy to take in and it is most definitely something we don’t want to hear, especially if he’s cute but it is the truth at its finest.
Now, obviously if they say “I’ll call you at 6” and when 6 comes and goes, you get all in a huff. Then, yes you kind of need to chill and read this when weeks have gone by because he may have just been busy.
Now the question of “should I ask him, why?”
Now unless they have an extenuating reason, like I stated above, I’ll ask you
this question in return “do you really want to know?” At the end of the day
when it comes to dating, you are going to win some and lose some, it is what it
is, even if their reasons may be hurtful, don’t take it personal, why? Well
because what one guy doesn’t appreciate about you, another guy will.
I know sometimes it’s a bummer when you really liked him but let’s be real here you would rather a guy whose eagerness to call you, is as strong as your eagerness to hear from him, right?
To conclude my humble advice based off of my own shambolic experiences, you should have enough of a life, so that you aren’t sitting by the phone. I suppose you get let off if you wait for a day or two but after that, it’s best to consider moving on, you don’t have to completely shut away your heart but until that fish starts biting, fish elsewhere. Now he may just call back about a week later and that’s great it puts you in control, you can decide to see where things may go or you’ve probably met someone new by then anyway. Keep your wits about you and give yourself a break off point e.g. “if he doesn’t call within 5 days, he falls into the ‘just friends’ pile”. You are in control of your own dating life, plus you’re too damn hot, to be waiting around for anyone who can’t recognise what is right in front of them.
I know sometimes it’s a bummer when you really liked him but let’s be real here you would rather a guy whose eagerness to call you, is as strong as your eagerness to hear from him, right?
To conclude my humble advice based off of my own shambolic experiences, you should have enough of a life, so that you aren’t sitting by the phone. I suppose you get let off if you wait for a day or two but after that, it’s best to consider moving on, you don’t have to completely shut away your heart but until that fish starts biting, fish elsewhere. Now he may just call back about a week later and that’s great it puts you in control, you can decide to see where things may go or you’ve probably met someone new by then anyway. Keep your wits about you and give yourself a break off point e.g. “if he doesn’t call within 5 days, he falls into the ‘just friends’ pile”. You are in control of your own dating life, plus you’re too damn hot, to be waiting around for anyone who can’t recognise what is right in front of them.
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